Monday, April 06, 2015

Be of Good Cheer



BE OF GOOD CHEER
Chapter 4 in the forthcoming book: Love, Lust & Enlightenment: Falling deeper in love with your mate, and becoming "almost enlightened" to boot


Be of Good Cheer

There is a force that grows the green grass, thrusting up even in the most vile parking lot. There is a tinkle, as of Tibetan bells, in the laughter of children.
There is the moan of lovers, coming together slowly and sweetly after the trials of the day, and perhaps even the troubles that their conditioned behaviors have caused each other.
There is the play of otters in the mud, dolphins in the blue ocean, there are those wild geese, flying freely throughout the chapters of this book and the bright blue skies of the world, there are the blue bonnets and the California Poppies and the orange/ apricot/ pear/ cherry/ redbud/ honey locust blossoms bursting in spring, full of bees making honey. Birds singing. The birds and the bees and the bright green leaves flickering golden in the trees, in the breeze, in the sun, in the sky, in our hearts.

Always there for us. And we can miss it, deny it, forget it. Chose the other, darker, sadder path.
Like this:
Life can be a bummer. Or Life can be a joy.
You can drink through one of two straws: one is sweet and one is bitter.
Happiness is an inside job.
Unhappiness is an inside job.

One way to be in the joy/ sweet/ happiness current is to be of good cheer.

All the time.
Things gong your way: be of good cheer.
Things going crappy: be of good cheer. (This isn’t Pollyanna. It’s good cheer.)
Feeling great: be of good cheer.
Feeling tired/ sick/ weak/ pain and so on: be of good cheer.

Why?
Because it feels better to you.
Because it feels better to those around you.

Because choosing to drink from the sweet not the bitter straw is one of the prime human abilities.

Because it is what Life wants of us.
(Is that true?
Find out for yourself.)

I have a group of friends who call this “Being in the energy.” There’s a whole way of accessing this, that you can find out about in the first appendix, but for now let’s look at “being in the energy” like this.
Accessing the happy child in you, always game for friendship, for play, for learning, for silliness, for delight, for discovery.
For the new.
That lives in the now.

Okay:
Go couples, be of good cheer, try this and see what happens.

Partner A:
I am alive. You are alive.
I am going to die. You are going to die.
I notice these two things about you in the present…
I notice these two things about myself in the present..
I like this about you…Pause. Breathe. Look at your partner. Then say it from the heart.
I like this about myself… Pause. Breathe. Look at your partner. Then say it from the heart.
I like this about us as a couple… Pause. Breathe. Look at your partner. Then say it from the heart.

Now take three breaths. And go through the whole sequence again. Set the timer for at least three minutes of this.

Now two minutes of “feedback” of the “only listening” sort. So you aren’t going to be giving any opinions or interpretations.

Partner B’s “feedback.”
I am alive. You are alive.
I am going to die. You are going to die.
I notice these two things about myself in the present..
I notice these two things about you in the present..
I heard you say you liked this about yourself… Pause. Breathe. Look at your partner. Then say it from the heart. Say only one thing each turn that you heard them say.
I heard you say you like this about me… Pause. Breathe. Look at your partner. Then say it from the heart. Say only one thing each turn that you heard them say.
I heard you say you like this about us as a couple… Pause. Breathe. Look at your partner. Then say it from the heart. Say only one thing each turn that you heard them say.

Then the timer goes off after two minutes, and do it the other way around. Partner B shares their self and other and couple “LIKE-ING” for three minutes (or more, you pick) and then partner A gives “only listening feedback” for two minutes.

Ah. Three breaths together. Ten breaths together. Live it up.

Now.
Touch.

Let’s massage a foot today.
4 minutes in two 2 minute turns.
1st turn: “just” massaging.
2nd turn: thinking of “being of good cheer”/ the happy and exploratory child, as you massage their foot.

Then the other way around.

Then a couple minutes of sharing: how was it different both giving and getting as “straight ahead” massage, vs. “being of good cheer” massage.

Have a great day.
You could even be of good cheer all day, if you wished…

Cheers

Chris

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