Loneliness is a Blessing in Disguise

You are in a relationship, and your partner goes away for awhile.
And you're lonely.

You have a relationship, and you or your partner (or both)
decide it's time to end it, and
you are lonely.

You haven't been with a partner in a long time,
or can only find partners that turn out to be contentious,
or duplicitous, or boring, or ...., and the relationships don't last long,
and you long for a Real Relationship,
and you
are
Lonely.

And in all these cases, you get a marvelous chance to discover
what it is like to love.

To love yourself as all the cliche´s say.
That really isn't it, but we might as well get this one out of the way.

Most lonely people, and this isn't going to sound right,
but
oh, well,
are lonely at least in part because they are selfish.
In a way they "love themselves" too much, in the sense
that they,
like you and me and everyone,
fall prey to the me, me, me disease,
and want things to go their way.

And when things don't go their way,
they cause a stink, and the partner gets sick of them
and leaves,
or they are so precious that they have to leave the partner
because they didn't get their way.

This sounds harsh,
but think of it
as oh, so human.

The human condition:
we imagine that other people have a purpose in the universe
and that purpose
is to help us feel good or comfortable or happy or safe
or...
what WE want to feel.

And sometimes, darn them,
they just forget what they are "supposed" to be doing
and actually think that THEY are the center of the Universe.

You can see how this might cause problems.

If it weren't for sex and children, and fear of loneliness,
relationships could probably never last more than a couple
of weeks.

And now we are back to loneliness again.

Do you get lonely walking in the woods,
or in a beautiful meadow?

Usually not. We feel at one with Nature,
and we aren't demanding that the wildflowers
like us more or appreciate us more or lose weight.

We can love Nature for what it is.

This is the kind of self love we need, too.

Are we sad?
Love the sadness.

Are we afraid we will never find a partner?
Love the fear.

Are we bored?
Love the boredom.

Do we wish we could make less mistakes?
Love the learning of HOW we went about making the mistakes,
why we went about making the mistakes, and even ( or maybe especially),
how the mistakes were lessons for us.

So we are alone.

Time to think,
and watch our thinking.

Do we think kind thoughts about ourselves?
Not boastful thoughts, though that isn't the biggest crime in the world,
but kind as in: you are a good person. You are able to learn. You have these interests.
You are learning this and that and that. This is what you enjoy: how about spending more time doing the things you enjoy. This job doesn't really make you happy, how about looking for another one, or thinking about what you really want to do.

If we have unkind thoughts, this is were the fear of loneliness comes in.
Being alone is fine, but if we use the time beating ourselves up inside,
then life gets grueling.

And one thing we can beat ourselves up about is the idea:
I should have a partner right now.

I won't go into the Work of Byron Katie just now.
It's easy to find: thework.com
And if you google my blogs and the work of byron katie you'll find
plenty of essays.
Or buy my book, which lays it out over many smaller chapters.
Or buy Katie's book.

But for now:
this is a gift we can all give ourselves in any lonely moment:
to take the thought that "I'm not okay just here, by myself"
and ask:
Is it true?

If you have a partner and they are off doing something they enjoy
or want
or need
to do, doesn't love recommend loving their doing that,
and self love recommend you enjoy the time free.

Same when loved ones and you have parted ways.

You are spared the troubled times.

You have time to meditate and practice loving
every moment of every day.

When you get even halfway good at that,
so many people will want to be in your company you'll be shocked
and pleased,
and have to use astute heart and mind intelligence to find with whom
you will have the most wonderful time together.

Hint: find someone who is not afraid to be alone.
They won't cling to you.
And since, if you know how to at least halfway love everything
you do,
in partnership or alone,
you won't be afraid to be alone.

And so when you are together,
it can be love time,
not hiding from fear of loneliness time.

That seems like an improvement,
don't you think?

What to do when your Lover isn't Perfect?

(This is a reposting of a mini essay from
my new blog:
Relationship Enlightenment,
which is at http://relationshipenlightenment.blogspot.com/

This is the first posting, in a blog that will be entirely devoted to upgrading and making relationship a vehicle toward enlightenment, and a sweet place to hang out in the present.

Sometimes there are trick questions, and this is one:
What to do when your Lover isn't Perfect?

Because the answer is contained in the question.
Take our the r from Lover and you have what to do?
Love.
Love them.

Think about it: when does someone need love most?
When they are tip top full of vim and vigor and their most charming lovable selves?

Or when they are a bit pissy or selfish, or even mean?

I mean, we all have the mean moments. And never from sitting down and deciding:
damn, I'm bored, I'm going to be a real rat for awhile.

Nope.
We are feeling down about ourselves,
or stuck in our work,
or feeling wounded by someone else,
or some memory from the past,
and suddenly, an innocent (or maybe not so innocent, that doesn't matter)
comes along,
and zap:
we send them a little mean juice.
Say a mean thing.
Give them a look.
Ignore.
Use the tone of voice.

You know the stuff we pull when we aren't tip top.

And that's when we need our Lover, our Friend, our Mate,
to step back
and wonder… ˙Hey, what's eating you? Is something wrong?
Do you need something? Some time? A hug? Some praise? Some listening?

And so,
that's what to do when your Lover isn't perfect:
Love them.

And ask some slow, gentle, curious, caring questions.

That's all.

(And that's a lot).

Geothe on decision, a quote

"Until one is committed,
there is hesitancy,
the chance to draw back,
always ineffectiveness.

Concerning all acts of initiative,
there is one elementary truth,
the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:
That the moment one definitely commits oneself,
then providence moves too…
Whatever you can do,
or dream you can,
begin it.

Boldness has genius,
power, and magic in it"


Geothe

what to do when angry with your lover?

Ah, yes, it happens
you get angry
with your lover

the perfect one
becomes....
yuk

oh, well,
it happens
and you can't really love someone
unless you can hate them every
once
in awhile

but here's some tips:
breathe
don't say anything
don't make any decisions
go away for awhile

leave them alone
they don't need to hear
anything
from
you

yet

go away and
write down
all their sins

they aren't perfect
they probably pulled some shit

i mean face it:
if they were perfect would they
be with you?
 no,

oh well,
they pulled some shit
and you write it down

and stew
and stew

and then,
hey,
try this
sense the stewing inside
you
and notice
the stewing inside you

this is the anger
churning away

it's yours
your treasure
for as long as you want

and then do
something else besides stew
you've go a life:

go work
or walk
or read
or meditate
or garden
or pay attention
to who you are without the stewing story
of how  they should have been perfect

pay attention
to what you are
without the bad/imperfect lover
to disturb
you

what are you?

who are you?

and what about happiness?
can you be happy
about your loved one,
and with your loving inside,
deep inside,

even with the shit
they pulled?

if no, keep waiting
keep working
keep meditating
keep not saying anything
keep not deciding anything (you can imagine it though:
 never going to speak to them again, never going
to buy them candy, going to smack them in the face
with a big cream pie.... keep the crimes non violent and
in your mind)

and then
when you remember this:

I love you

you can say something
you can go back to them

but first
remembering

I Love You

write your list again,
calmer
and in love

and still don't say it

go say the

I Love you
part

and say that in an hour or two you'll
say the list
of what made you angry

but wait

there's plenty of time
for lovers

there's always time
to wait

until love is the ocean
and everything else just
bobs
up and down
up and down
life's a merry go round
gently gently gently gently
life is but a dream

what is there to say about Love?

What is there to say about Love?

without it
life is parched
and senseless

and:

it is always there
within
always there
our true nature

and:
in the world of guys and gals
(in any combination)
the cleaning up
of the last "relationship"
super important
(according to the thought
thinker,
life watcher
inner and outer garden
grower,  the one writing here)

big deal important:
clean up the last one
get clear
not even forgiveness
but more
like ecstasy of
seeing this:
"oh, my, I was an asshole ,
too,
oh well,
better apologize,
how wrong and foolish
I was"

and then
to move on

on to the empty ease
of loving
just
yourself
all alone

and if no one
ever shows up
again:
fine

the full ease
of life as full
so much to love:

plants people sky dogs horses
work rest cars roads paths paper
pens computers laughter
baby's asses diapers
food
frolic
dance
paint
the conversations
with strangers
and friends
the confusion
the clarity

so much to love
you could spend a thousand
lifetimes of love

and life so full of
somethings and someones
and somewheres and somehows
to love
and

loving all that
and not even noticing

someone comes along
also in no hurry

also in no worry

and there you are

trapped again
in bliss

God bouncing back and forth
God grinning to God
God caressing God

God golly wow
here we go again

and this time
a little slower
a lot smarter
a soft waiting for the
other to unfold
exactly
at their own mysterious pace

always this is
waiting

....
the world is full of
people who love you

most don't know it

oh, well

someone always comes along
who bursts through their sleep
and sees what you have
waiting
for them you life

they sense the possibilities
they go for it
or you do
and slowly you unfold together
into the mystery

love songs ring in your head
and they aren't true
it's easier than that
and quieter
even when it wants to shout to the
mountain tops

very quiet
very easy
very gentle


....

good

Where does Love Live?

Look for yourself with the eyes: nothing to see
Listen for yourself with your ears: nothing to hear
Reach for yourself with your hand: everything to touch

the soil and the baby's face
the hammer and the pen
the skin and the boot

and they are not you

where are you?

Seamless
un-namable
we spring from the Nothing

and in the middle of this Nothing:
love

a light to guide us
back
to
Truth

which can't be tasted
or seen
but can be
Lived

squoze heart suffers, but always

Sometimes my heart
(the conditioned,
small fearful
heart that shoves aside
sometimes
the real
the big as the Universe
the abiding in the Glory of Life
real
Heart)
wants more from you

you can =
the ME, ME, ME story
the Loved One
God
Life

and so on

wanting is nice
       when the fullness of Life
       is what one wants of One
       or more really One, through one,
        wants One

wanting more for all One of
us

and when the squoze too small
hearts starts demanding
always: suffering

Good

Life is meant to pulled burning
hands off hot stoves
and withdraw stung fingers
from hornets' nests

and why the suffering?

ah,

demands are skewed
they forget
the joy of the honest
request

they forget
the glory of
Now

they forget, demands do,
that all the love in
the world
is always
here
always here
all ways here

right
now



..........

good

If God is love, is Valentine's day holy?

Here's how to be present:

Don't try
Just realize:
you are alive

go with the obvious:
you are breathing
and
you are in gravity
and
you are in light
and
there is sound
around

that's four anchors to the now:

your breath

the bones and flesh of your legs and spine and arms creating
the shape
whatever shape of you
is now
right now
in gravity

feel gravity's pull
feel / sense your arms and legs and spine

that's two

three:
realize experience pay attention to enjoy:
whatever light
is
right now
coming in your eyes

four:
sounds
ears
what's the nowness
of that

that's a good solid anchor

in bed
walking
fixing breakfast
eating
talking
quieting
driving a car
working
talking on phone;;

breathing
light
gravity in arms and legs and spine
sound in ears

this is you
alive
now

full
sweet
amazing wonderful


And if God is love, is Valentine's day holy?

if God is love
every day is holy

every hour

every moment

every now

wow

good

tuesday today, next tuesday VAlentine's

roses are red
violets are blue
tell me a secret
I love you

this poem could
be read
by all of our real selves

to everyone else's

and they wouldn't even have
to tell a secret

and I don't think that's the real verse

tell me a secret:
i love you

is the secret we
all have

and are all holding our breath
to hear

and what would it be like
today
tomorrow
for a few days
to think feel remember that

for everyone we see:
I love you

everyone we talk to:
I love you

everyone who sees or talks to us:
they love us

interesting results
perhaps

let's find out

if love were free, then what? if it had a cost, what would it be?

this sunset a while back

at Enchanted Rock

a wild wonderful place in Texas

you know the phrase,
sixties stuff, or Hugh Heffner kind of nonsense:
free love

which means, usually,
fooling around and not sticking it out
with the going gets rough
and jumping on to someone else

that's not free really
because it's not love

it could be good sex,
could be an invitation to disaster
and definitely isn't the
deal
with love

because love does have a price

a minor one:
death

ha, got ya?

and the death isn't literal
it's worst:

good old ego gets to bite the dust

and this sounds big
and it is
cause the ego that bites the dust with love
isn't the one that learns spanish and tai chi
and takes you out dancing when you need
to clear your funk
or plant a garden when you need to get grounded

no it's the ego
that's the piggidy piggy piggo:
the me me me
I come first
give me what I want when I want it
baby demanding tyrant

ugh

we fall into that pig now and then
and love's price
and it's gift:
a wake up message:
hey, the other person has their own
world
other things to do
beside worship and serve and accommodate
to us

so love has a price
death of the pig

and the reward:
we are free
free from all those me me me chains

so love is free

love is free because when
we love
we are free

wheeee!

super bowl

this sun shone

not knowing or caring that super bowl, the super bowl,

was dancing, charging and flaring 

along

the teams play in this super bowl,
in every super bowl
and zillions watch
root
toot
eat
flip channels
want to buy something they didn't know
they wanted to buy
drink
not drink
and meanwhile
on some real piece
of ground
somewhere on this planet
the super bowl bashes and dances
and strategizes forward

and
someone wins
someone loses

if it's a "good game"
they get to take turns
being ahead
and believing they'll
win,
each of them wants
to win

which is fun for the one who
does
or is it
or is it just not feeling bad
by losing

either way
it's over
it was close

life goes on

and in our love life
we can win
and that makes
our loved
one the loser

and if we gloat
about that
or feel righteous
or feel that we are bigger or smarter
or better than them,
then
what happened to the love
that flourishes
when
they are a delight
and a
wonder
and a bit of a
(or a lot)
a mystery to us

a mystery
we are intrigued
to discover
and meet
and merge with
and talk to
and leave alone
and come back together

the day
by
day
stuff

that's important

and being alive
and
awake
and
happy

whether they are there
or
not

for surely we don't want our
happiness
pinned to them

too much pressure
and our job
in love
anyway
is
to enjoy
and encourage
and adore
and that kind
of valentine's thing

why?
it feels good to love

we can't really help
it
when we stop the bullshit

....
good

today is the last day of the end of your life

live it well

today is the last day of everything that has gone
before

love it
it's what you were and did and felt and experienced

and let it go

it's gone
gone
gone

and now
what with all that gone
what's left?

now.
your life.

now.
your life

now
your life

live it as if you were going to live forever
or
as if this was the last day
or
both

since both might be
true
who knows

we don't and
all that leaves
is

of course

now

good

love is important, yes, yes

How many times can you say

that
love is
important?

As many as you want to.

And that seems a little silly.
And silly is one of the best wrods
in the English language.

Along with land and love and work
and joy and ease and laughter.

It's okay to be silly every once in
a while
and it's good to fall in love
often

preferably with the same person
but if that person dies
or leaves you
or you leave
them,
fall in love with someone else

And can you love someone who leaves
you?
Yes.
And can you love someone you leave?
Very important: yes.
Love them while you are with them
and then love them when any
parting comes.

For half a day.
For a week.
For the rest of your lives.

Why stop loving just
because the roof isn't shared
any more?

And what about marriage?

Marriage is good.
An agreement to share the roof,
come hard times or good, come this or that.

Basically: an agreement to work it
out
if things need to be worked out.

I'm a big fan of working things out
as
foreplay.

Let me repeat that:
I'm a big fan of working things out
as
foreplay.

Not this old theatrical way:
of screaming and arguing and then someone
or both bursting into tears
and then the hugs
and then the sex.

Yikes. That's just a recipe for rewarding
screaming cat fights.

No, the working out of listening:
Oh, that's what you think.
Oh, that's what you feel.
Oh, that's how you see it.
Oh, of course you are right from your point of view
and of course I'm right from my point of view
and we don't have to be so coarse as
to demand that only one of us be right.

Let's both be right.
Let's both be wrong.
Let's both be smart.
Let's both be fools.

Ah, their is so much the same
about us.

We are one,
the human family,
the you and me and our love
family,
the awakening to reality family,

and that's the foreplay.

Waking up to the love
that is there

always
for everyone
when we are awake

and certainly for our mate
if we have one

and for ourselves and the trees
and our dogs and cats
and friends
if we don't

love is important
like breathing

it's always there
and when we remember
and experience it:
it feels like our life
is being lived
as we were meant
to
live

ah
yes

good

Love and Fear

Love is fearless
but the ego is not

and so the ego
is afraid of
love

sometimes

of course,
love can "look good"
to the ego,
and not just trophy lovers,
but the real actual juicy delight
of sex

is good for
the body
and good
for
the soul
and good
for the ego
too,

because the poor ego,
which doesn't exist,
has this idea
that there is something basically lacking

and good sex
at least temporarily
makes the ego,
which doesn't exist
feel as if it did

and the body exists

the we
the us
the real me
right not BE the body
but it
me
you
I
are in these sweet bodies

and what about love
and fear:

good love
scares the ego
because in good love
the ego dissolves
and all that is left is adoration
of life
really

though it can appear to be of the
other

and the ego
wants to cling to time
and wants "this love right now
so hot so fine"
to last forever
which it might
but we'll never know
except one now at a time

is this making any sense?

sense to the part of you
that doesn't have to fit all
the words
together
but knows

you've been scared sometimes
when love seems
too good

as if you don't deserve it

or as
if,
without guarantees
of ever and ever
it's too much a risk to
love so much

or
as if,
the world
so deliciously out of control
will dissolve

and it
will

it will

read Rumi
read Hafiz

fall into the empty drop
delightful magic carpet of now:

it's all gone
this moment and the last ten million
and all that's left

is.....

love

Valentine's Treat

Valentine's Day is

like this:
I love you
and
I hope you love me
and let's show off that we have something pretty nice

And everyone doesn't have something pretty nice
and
some of those showing off
are,
as they say,
"blowing smoke out their asses"
and putting on a public show
while there is plenty of suffering back home

So what to do about
making it better
making love
happen
as a more consistent and ongoing thing?

Ah, me, ah my
it's always the same answer:

be present.

Got a grudge:
come into the present and actually
look at your partner

Your partner is gone
and you have a grudge
:
Look out the window
enjoy the birds
the bees
the sky
the trees
and be glad to be alive

Wish they were kinder:
be kinder to them
and to yourself

Wish they would listen more:
listen to them and
listen to yourself

If they bore you,
be present
be honest
ask for what would make it
work

Don't demand
Be happy

See what happens

there's more,
always more,
its one of life's great
ships
the relationship

and if you are "single"
single out plenty
of time
to really
really
really

love yourself
and your
life
exactly as it is

Good.

And now for an announcement:
I have a class at the UT informal classes
that I "accidentally" scheduled for February
7 and 14.

So instead of going to a movie, or out to dinner,
or,
in addition,
you could come upgrade your relationship
by:
communicating in the present
releasing resentments
creating harmony
moving into the moment

this can be with a mate
or without

couple
or
single

sign up
here:

UT informal class:
The Joy of Divorcing Your Pain/ Suffering/ Old Stuff/ Whatnot

this moment, this love, leaving behind the labels

if i want to word about it
and call this moment, enlightened,
then
it's not

and if i want to word about it
and call this moment, not enlightened
then
that's true,
but not getting me anywhere

which getting
any
where
comes from being
any where
and that's just good enough
sweet fine kind
amazing
without any wording
to tell me
or
you
or anyone,
except maybe God,
how wonderful it is

and the whisper,
the words that just slip out
uncalled for
unthought,
the "i love you" words,
the more unidirectional
and unspecific
the better

(though God is in the details,
too,
loving every little grain of sand,
or wrinkle
or irritation
or leaf
or star)

that whisper
is on the way
to the enlightened thing
the lighten up
thing
the everything is slipping forth
the way it
is
and isn't that fine
thing

and it can't be told
good

can be experienced
good

now
very good

yeah,
this now

and sometimes that feels so good
we have to write a poem
or a song
and shout I LOVE YOU
to everyone

that's okay
it's necessary to the tides
of life

can't be helped

ask Hafiz,
drunken love maker to
God
in every man woman child moon
and star
and sun

or
ask the self in you
that has no name
and no place
and no words
and feels like it's not there

except it's the only thing
always there

kind
of

who knows
let Adyashanti tell us all the details
that's his job

our job:
to smile
feel our feet on the ground

wake up to a life of love
and
presence

and all the places that
will
take us

good

Relationship Heaven

Is your relationship heaven?

Is that honeymoon flavor there most of the time?

Are you excited to find out new aspects of each other
every week, if not every day?

Is touch, truth and fun continually improving?

Can you talk about anything and everything, including
the sweetness of sex with its various tangles of desire and obligation,
and money with its seemingly endless ramifications?

Are you present with each other?

Are you deeply in love?

I hope so.

If not, that's my main treat and service for the world now,
helping others to the love that could be, and maybe even "should"
be, at the center of all lives.

Real love, real work, real awakening, real connection to the Earth,
real service.

All good stuff.

Ciao
for
NOW,

Chris

Special Needs Children, lessons to "imitate" the daily action of "normal" children, learning is the aim

A "normal" child is pushing into the floor, into the chair, into everything, and pulling herself along,
or rolling herself over, or figuring out strategies of moving, and sitting and going up and down and crawling, and doing just about everything.

All day.

Each hour of each day is a lesson for the average child.

For a special needs child, life is full and wonderful, too, but the spasticity,  or the limited repertoire of successful motion, or the disabled attention abilities keep the learning less than full time.

This is where lessons come in.

We practitioners create the connections and the pushes and the pulls,
slowly,
gently
with variation,
to mimic
but much more effciently,
the learning all children need about how,
say,
the hand pushing into the floor connects through to the ribs and spine and pelvis.

How the rotation of the pelvis affects the legs and spine and head.

How the chest and ribs affect the back and the pelvis and the head.

It's all the miracle of this body and this brain,
a brain that doesn't start out knowing how to roll over,
or crawl or walk or talk.

What is learning?
It's adding on an ability to perceive new differences.
This is what children's lessons are about, whether it is "normal" children
moving themselves around experimentally,
or the special needs child lucky enough to get our lessons
to simulate and encourage this learning.

Life is amazing, and lessons,
for adults and children,
at all ranges of activity,
can increase the ability of the whole person
to perceive the whole person, the self,
the "me" inside of each of us,
as an independent source of motion,
and intention and action.

Action is us living our own life.
Action is what brings the children in for lessons.
Action is the life expansion for the children,
however small, bit by bit, after each lesson.

This is the little miracles that can add up to such big ones.

Hope to see you and your child soon.


Chris

Early, tired, awake

when reality brings these tired moments, I could complain.

They won't go away with my complaining.

Further proof that I don't run the Universe.

That's good news. Think how much responsibility that would be.

What's left to me, is that what is now,
this I can experience,
this I can treasure,
even these tired, early morning, up since 2 AM now it's 7 morning.

I'll live

A little nap will go a long way.

Life is good.

Ciao
for
NOW

An essay for a change: Loving God, with or without belief

GOD:Loving God for the hell of it; oh, wait, the heaven of it

God is good. We’ve heard that. But then again, we don’t have to believe that.
We don’t have to believe in God.
I don’t have to care about or think about God.
And we like to love God, sometimes and those times are in indication of the deeper callings in Life.

Remember when you were small and looked up at the stars and it seems so amazing, that they were so many and so perfect and so brilliant and you were down here and they were up there and it was all just amazing.
That’s what loving God can be like.

Or when you sat by a stream one time, or many, and rested your back against a tree or a rock, and just did “nothing.” Just watched the water flow by and delighted in the sparkling, rippling, reflecting light bouncing from the sun off the water and into your eyes and into your brain and into your heart and your breathing and you and the stream seemed as if they were one.
All is one. All is One.
Some people say things like that. What do you think?
What do you feel?
What do you experience?
What do you love?

Say you love flowers. Is that a way to love God? Sure.
Say you love sunsets and walks on the beach. What if loving that is loving God is loving yourself in your expanding form?
Say God is something like the Whole Tamale, and so anything you love is loving God.

That makes it easy to love God. Later we’ll roam around in the scary world of God is everything, even the “bad stuff,” but let’s start easy.
Loving sunsets and puppies frolicking in the mud and babies laughing and birds singing and rainbows rainbowing these are all easy.
And that’s good, you know. We tend to forget the easy, the simple. We want God to be something fancy we have to pray hard for, or go to India to join the ashram.
We think God is some strict father, and we don’t get the goodies, the love and okay to get into heaven and whatnot, if we don’t toe some line, shape up, be good.
We don’t’ have to be good.
We might want to be kind and loving and useful to others and the Earth, and when you really feel those urges they are from that complicated and simple all at once place of All is One. The being kind to you is being kind to another part of me. The helping the Earth along is being useful to another part of me.

We appear to be apart from others and from Nature. And we appear to be a part of others and a part of Nature.
We are a part of love.
Love is a part of us.

We spend our days often, way often, forgetting that we are love.
That’s okay. God is love, some say, so that God, She or He can but us some slack when we forget to love.
Cutting us slack is called mercy.
Someone once said two things are infinite: human stupidity and God’s mercy. One kind of calls forth the other, and maybe humans are less stupid that confused and cut off from their natural intelligence.
And how do we get back to God, get back to our true selves, get back to days of more and more Love.

Start now, course. We always start now.

The love we want is in us now.
When we come to the Now, everything slows down, and we have this great swoosh of peace. Why? Because all those things lined up ahead of us don’t exist in the present.
Because all those things we remember and have told ourselves about our past, they don’t exist in the Now either.
In the now, the Now, the NOW, not much is left.
Except a peace.
A happiness.
A friend.
A sense of having come home to our true selves.

Is coming home to our true selves, our True Selves, coming home to God?

Maybe.
You don’t have to believe in any God, or anything, to feel very peaceful, happy, free by coming back to your true self, your true Self, in the Now.

And does that make the Now another name for God?

I’m not sure. I don’t think so.

I think God might be the vastness, the beauty, the ALL OF IT, that we can see and feel and merge with from the now.

But that’s just my story.

What’s your feeling when you come to the now, really now?

Does that feel like God, or a path to God, or just a great relief from all the regular ordinary everyday suffering and hurry and worry and contention and bother?

It’s your life.
It’s your feelings.
It’s you now to love and live in or not.

Try loving God, with or without believing in God. And then just coast there, without thoughts, in the Now, and see what happens.
Feel what happens.
Love what happens.
Love yourself.
Love It ALL.

Enjoy.

God is ??, and Loving God anyway

You don't have to be good.

You don't have to believe in God.

You don't have to love God.

And sometimes you just want to, as if
as if
as if
compelled by the very life force
within
you

to worship the
Life Force all around you

and it is as if you are worshipping
yourself
but the bigger self
the Self
as they say and it's bigger
than just a big S
it's bigger like the univerSe
that kind of big

and worshipping the univerSe
seems kind of lame,
really,
but what if we are worshipping
the animating force behind it
all
the force that created you and I
and this Life on Earth thing
and this moon around the Earth around the sun thing
and the butterfly ocean sunset sweet kisses and hugs
and rivers and oceans and rainbows and peaches thing

that seems worth worshipping

the worship
and the workshop

what if this world is but
a workshop
for our souls
to deepen their leapin
into the univerSe
of
All is One

and what is All is One
is another name for God

just like some people say
Love
is
another name for God

and other people say
Everything / Reality is another
name
for God

and of course
when you connect with something
too big
really
to have a name
it's just a game
if you are spinning words
about something beyond the words

but the being alive
and experiencing
it

NOW

thing

that's God

maybe

but it feels like love
and it feels like what we are meant to do
and so
maybe that's good

maybe it's just fine to worship
God
and to love God
and leave out the whole "believe in God
or don't believe in God"
argument

who knows?
try it out.
See is loving God
without believing in God
works

for you.

whatever "you" are

Good.

Love's possible pathways: happy new year

If you look at the world around you,
here is what you see:
some nature,
more if you are lucky,
less if the city is your place

you see a lot of buildings
and roads
and that too,
more or less

and then there are people
everywhere people

and sometimes you are lucky
and someone comes along and you share
some nights and days with
you love them
or at least want to be with them

sometimes children
come from this

sometimes
not

and sometimes this "relationship,"
as it's called gets better and better

you are fascinated
the other person is fascinated

you are learning and growing
they are learning and growing

you are on the spot present to them
listening
and hearing what their words say
and what the heart underneath the words
is saying



and they listen,
really listen too

and you laugh
and discover,
my oh my,
you each have quirks and eccentricities
and you find that charming

and sometimes one or the other
will be less than totally thoughtful
and that can be interesting to explore

and you get bored sometimes
and go off and read a good book
or write one
or meditate

there is no rush to be always
together
and
a great delight when you are

.....
this happens sometimes

.......

i hope this is happening to you
right now
this year

and in the meantime:

if no one is around who is a great listener,
get out a friendly journal
and start listening to yourself

if no one is around to laugh and indulge you
when you are less than perfect
my
this is a good habit to develop

and when you want to romp with others,
and don't have a special other,
find a dance group,
find a group hike,
find a sing along crowd
find a reading group

there are people everywhere
some are lonely
and just waiting for a friendly
person
to say hello
how was your day

the world is full
of possibilities

enjoy

January 6. 2012
a very good year

love is this moment caressing itself

Love is important
and it goes like this:

you are amazing,
alive
and I cherish you just as you are

that's the honeymoon
phase
and why not have it always be the honeymoon

like this:
the Other does something that irriates
us
we see that as our problem
we got irritated

and we see it as a chance to play:
"Hey, I tweeked myself when you
did
so and so

is that weird, that I tweeked myself
or is that some insane notion
that you are supposed to always
do things just the way

I want you to do them?"



the quote means
you say it.
you speak to the other person
about the bother in you
and
you do NOT
blame them for the bother

you both get curious:

them about whether they wanted to tweek you

you get curious about: whether you have program
that the Other "should" do
what you wish the other to do

....
i know
i know
it sounds too simple

aren't we supposed to get in
conflict when we
"don't get our way?"

if we want to be unhappy
we can get into conflict

if we want to be happy
then curiosity
and good old fashioned
letting the other person be
who they are

goes a long way

and la
la
la

here's the deal:
until we wake up
there is no real happiness

what does that mean?

it means
in the present
love is always possible

out of the present
it's just our robot and theirs
either meshing
or not

hard reality
except
so fucking amazing:
we can come free any
now
and
now
is always right now,

no waiting wanting or coniving
it's right here

this one , too, of course

love
and such
to one
and all,
Chris

Today is Friday and....

image from the past

interesting our pictures and where our attention goes

when we past surf

eh?

Today is Friday and
apparently I have slagged off
my promise of posting three times
a week

gads
and we can always tell ourselves the story:
I should have done more
yesterday

trouble is:
it's never true.

we can never have
done more yesterday
from today
back

yesterday
had we things
 like
been different
we could have made different choices

but today
looking back:
yesterday's did dad done dead

and now
it's a beautiful day
and love is good
and sunshine is good
and easing up on the
"you should have done more
yesterday"
voices, the
little
(Well intentioned or not)
liars

this is our life today
I'll post this poem today

this moment is mine
the only "sure' thing
and I'll love it and me
and being alive in
it

and tomorrow
who knows
I may  post another poem

but so far
I have spared myself any new year's resolutions

I've got some grand ideas
for the year

but a poem a day
or two pages a day
or three jogs a week
nah

i'll just love this moment
and see what happens
next

hope your day is wonderful

and ps
I am mulling and designing
ways of combining this joy of the present,
love of being present,
and creating a fabulous future for ourselves

stay
tuned

ciao
for
NOW,
Chris

Love is big, and why not?

Love is easy

          Love is in no hurry

                     Love is kind

                              Love is not demanding

                                      Love expands your mind

And your heart

your heart

your Heart is free in love

             and beats for yourself and the Other and for the whole World

                                 wishing they two three four six billion (or is it seven?) could

                                         be
                                             so happy

happiness is what we came for

                            and love is the road


                                          Love has no shame

                                                     it shines out to all the world


                  wishing wanting helping everyone to smile forth
                        into the next day
                               into the new year
                                        into the next hour
                                              into the next minute
                                                 into the next....no this very now now.......moment

love is the sweetness of Now
                     loving itself in another Form
                                  over and over and over










 happy new years

Loving the X, especially if you have kids

 Back from here, but nice to look at

If you have kids,
and you gave yourself a divorce
or found one snuck up on you,
or even got knocked around by one,
that's done,
and you still have the kids

and the X is still a huge part of
their life

and if you don't love the X,
even the stinky, yucky parts of the X,
then that resentment/ dislike/ hatred/ fear
whatever it comes up as for you
that glunk, let's call  it,
is going to sneak into your relationship
to your children

and damage them

and you don't want to do that

so why "forgive"
or let go
and learn to love the gunky X?

one:
for the children's sake

two:
for the sake of your soul

and do get this clear:
"Loving your enemy" does not mean
getting back together with them,
or even condoning actions they still do
that might be harmful to the children

But if their behavior is slightly unappealling to
you
or even hugely unappealling
it's your job to love them anyway


for your soul's sake
and for your children's sake

This is a big subject, and might as well start
plugging and working away on any and all resentments,
because if you have even the tiniest left,
even though you can find a new mate,
you won't find a relationship of unconditional love,
until you've learned to do so
with the parent of your children

their gunkiness
is their business
and it's torturing them every day of their
life,
whether they know it or not

oh, wll

your resentment and lack of forgiveness
is
one
torturing and poisoning your insides
two
making it harder or maybe even impossible
to make as much money as you'd like to make
three
as I keep pointing out:
undermining your children's ability to love themselves

even if they think they are
"doing fine"
and you think they are "Doing fine,"
if they sense your lack of love,
that's going to cripple them not only
with the X,
but with themselves,
because whatever gunk the X has,
they'll pick up part of it,
and if they don't have the ability to forgive
themselves this,
then they are trapped in the old self hatred trap

which isn't a nice place to be

so,
what to do

First and easiest
is the work of Byron Katie (http://thework.com/)

Judge your neighbor
Write it down
Ask 4 questions
Turn it around

"My X shouldn't have ....."

There it's written.

Q1 Is it true that "My X shouldn't have ....."?

Q2: Can I absolutely know that "My X shouldn't have ....."?

Q3 How do I feel, react and live when I believe that "My X shouldn't have ....."?

Q4… Who would I be without attaching to, or without having the thought that "My X shouldn't have ....."?

The turn around requires some explaining, but it's like:


"My X should have loved me more"


turns around to I should have loved my X more


and I should love myself more.


On this screen this doesn't seem like a way to transform your life.


You can work intensive days with my and get huge parts of suffering out of the way, and do great upgrading to the way you enjoy and move your body, and without that, you can go to
thework.com
and find videos and worksheets to guide yourself through it.


It's work, not just lazily wishing you felt better.
But it's working like gardening or building a home
that will radically improve your life.


Good
luck

Chris

christmas in an airport

leaving Southern California

for love, learning, laughter

and 

waking up,

happiness

and usefulness in

Austin

you know
it sounds bad
like it's all hurried and hassled
and that's a bunk way
to do
Christmas

and it's calm
the line for Southwest was zero
you walk right to the counter

and the homeland security
again,
no line

people are waiting for a plane
but calm
i think they all "did"
Christmas yesterday

and what does this have to
do
with a blog called
Poems from Now

well:
life is always now
and airports
and "not being there yet"
are parts of life

and "not being there yet"
is silly
isn't it
because
be
cause we are always
here
now

and when the next place
arrives
it will delightfully
arrive

and then next place

and now
apparently you
and i
are "at" a computer

and your now
doesn't synchronize on
a watch/ clock with
my now

but for you
your experience of
this now
can always be counted
on to bring you
to the best of what life
is
for you

and guess what?
many cell calls being made
and what are they saying?

same as what I'll say:
MErry Christmas.

Chris

Christmas cometh

a light shines in the sky

a light shines in you

it signals something amazing

it moves

the wise folks in you follow the light

it ends up in a smelly place
a humble place

new birth
helpless baby

and the light of the world
in you
is born
and begins its journey
to the center of the
Universe

happy
birth
to the Son of God
a star
the Sun of God

in you

yes

yes

yes

if your Mom is falling apart and your wonderful advicd

if your Mom is
falling apart
and your wonderful advice
is sometimes heard
sometimes not

and the sun shines
and her house is too hot
and sisters come and go
and phone calls go on
and on

and the food dance
is sometimes friendly
sometimes iffy

and the weirdness of forgetteries
practicing for alheimers

and the crunched over body
no longer sure in movement

and everyone wants to help
and sometimes to compete
that their way of helping is better

and so what'
it's a dance

learning to love
is
a dance

not the only dance in
town

but one of the sweetest

maybe the sweetest

i dance
listen
sometimes am totally present
sometimes not

and that
s
the dance of loving my moments
each one
new
sweet

divine

life is
good

so are you
no matter how broken
or healed
you are

you are amazing

don't forget
don't forget
don't forget

which is kind of
kin to
remember

yeah
remember yourself
and the glory of
being
a
live

ciao
for
NOW

Chris

the importance of love

in love we remember
to forget
the usual lie
the lie that it's
"all about me"

that we have to
"get our needs met"

that the you over there
is to balance out
the "me" over here

in love
it's a falling
into
wanting their life
to be good

their life to be stretching
learning
happy

awake

if you are lucky
your love is about wanting
you
and the other
to be awake

and in that awakeness
admiting
examining
giggling over the faults and
flaws
and silly habitual stuck points
in yourself

let them talk about their
flaws
if they want

that's their business

in love we
don't need to improve
we just need to listen

"just" need to be present

don't even need to
but who wouldn't be present
in the company
of another person,
any other person,
really,
because we all are
so amazing

and this is
kin da saying we could profit
big time by loving anyone
near or around us

that's a thought,
eh?

and what of past "lovers"

sure,
they aren't around
but they are still in our hearts

love them,
of course,
how can you not?

it's so painful
to deny the love that we are

and when someone else
can get close to that fire

great
see what ignites

life is good
and can get better and better
and
better

Thursday night
about to take flight to
California
to see a grizzly bear called Mom

great practice in loving
this gal is
and Thanks God
for all the practice you
send my way

Special Needs Children: perhaps compression, for sure: increase perception of differences

Caveat: this is not official Anat Baniel Method,
and
compression is recommended by my friend,
fellow ABM practitioner, and special needs mom,
Michelle Bensky
(She advised the remarks and writing on the earlier
post called:
On the Spectrum: Fragile X and Autism)

I thought of compression again, after having heard from
Mischelle that she threw out the brushing idea, and kept the
compression from PT, because this weekend I had a number of
very successful sessions with a baby with Prader-Willi Syndrome.
His Mom had just started squeezing this and squeezing that,
and the baby liked it, and it seemed to be useful to his learning.

My addition, of course,
is to always have differences and contrasts and teaming up
in mind.

Which means?

Compress/ squeeze the left knee, say knee.
Do this three or four times with different intensity.

Then compress/ squeeze the right elbow, again
with variations, and saying the word elbow.

The perhaps do the two together.

Or, perhaps work your way up the leg.
Slowly.
Gently.
Saying different parts as you come to them.

Or right left differences,
squeezing back and forth the right hand and the left hand,
right thigh, left thigh.

Go slowly. Let whatever "good" the compression does,
and it certainly wakes a child up to the locations of itself,
can be sweetly increased by having contrasts and the verbal sounds,
and going slowly enough so that each compression/ squeeze can be registered.

Registered where?

The brain, of course.

Special vs Holy Relationship: Course of Miracles via Marianne Williamson

This quote is in the relationships section
comparing
(recall all the power of the idea
of learning as the increased perception of differences)
"unholy relationship"
and a holy one:

"For an unholy relationship is based of
differences,
where each thinks the other has what
they have not.
They come together, each to rob the other.
They stay until they think that there is nothing
left
to steal, and then
move on.
And so they wander through a world of
strangers,
unlike themselves [actually like themselves, in their weird
pseudo isolation, but thinking everyone is unlike]
living in their bodies perhaps under a common
roof
that shelter neither;
in the same room and yet a world apart.

A holy relationship
starts from a different promise.
EAch one has looked within
and seen no lack.
Accepting their own completion, each would extend
it by
joining
with the other, whole as themselves."

And holy wholey as two/ one.

This is from Marianne Williamson's
A Return to Love.

The quote is from the Course on Miracles
and then she goes on to increase clarity
on this distinction.

Of the wanting to get
vs wanting to share variety:

other has to shape up
vs other is grand

other should "behave" according to our program
vs other should shake us up a little or lot and get us
to expand loving

and so on

Get it and read yourself.

This is a nice quote of hers, though:

"Our ego is merely our fear.
We all have egos, that doesn't make us bad people.
Our egos are not where we are bad,
but where we are wounded."

Lonely, alone ly, making friends, sunday night ramble, maybe "good for you"

loneliness is one thing
alone ness is another

you know how
people pay big bucks
to go on a retreat
and get all by themselves
away from others,
not talking at mealtimes?

it's to just shut up
and deal with the inner stuff

and alone time can be like that
time to just sit
with or without journal
and let all the crap come up
and watch it
or do the Katie work on
it
or realize you need help with it
and then just
be empty
and enjoy that power of
sweet nothing
to replenish
almost everything


and then again,
it's nice to have friends

how do you make friends

a. be yourself

b. go up to people who
look like they might be able to tolerate you
as yourself

c. find something to like in them

d. don't worry if they like you,
just keep being yourself
and liking them

e. if this doesn't scare them off

you've got a friend


good
enough for this cold
and sweet night

ciao
for NOW
Chris

Best first line of poem, thank z be to Mary Oliver: You do not have to be good

You do not have to be good

You don't have to finish your breakfast and wash the dishes
before you go to write a poem
or take a walk
or go back to bed and make love to everyone you love

You do not have to say your prayers
Nor do you have to scorn those who pray continuously

You do not have to turn out the lights
and go to sleep at
ten
eleven
twelve
one

You do not have to be fresh and perky the next
day

Nor need you repent of the late night reading
walking under the stars
making love to everyone you love
lying awake in blessed non sleep not dreaming
not thinking
not even meditating

just warm
lying there
wasting time

You do not have to not waste time

You can linger
over
almost anything to good effect
whatever good effect means,
let's say it means: joyful sustanence

and linger away
at the book, the lover, the bed, the walk,
the poem,

even your work

You do not have to begrudge your
work
Nor listen to anyone who is boring you

You do not have to wait until tomorrow
to be
happy
nor even
until this poem is over

Meanwhile
wild geese fly over Mary Oliver's poem
and the heater hums in mine
a rare cold day in Austin
in Texas
where I never thought I'd be
and I'm in love
with so many things
and I could blame it on Austin
or God
or you

but why bother

you do not have to have an excuse
for
happiness
nor
for joy

if love

if love is our subject to
day
what to say

except the obvious
actually
love is the bloodstream of the universe
or something like that

and let's be more silly slash direct
love
is who we is
when we let go
of the need to be who
we aren't

(which was imposed on us by
the frightened beaten down
ones who had forgotten that they
were love
and wanted rules and regulations
to make the world safe
for the dullness and pain
of the love
less life

and that's what's called an aside)

back to love
is
who we
are
when we aren't who we
aren't

our essence
the flow flood frolic that dances
all the time in us
and comes out in
smiles
and dance
and giggles
and sweet touch
and happy slurp
and cheerful chirp
of bird man woman bee
or flower

for surely the petals
in the sun
blazing in all their easy might
are but a shimmering
ray
of the universe of
love

or
something like that


ciao
for
NOW

chris


ps, if you want more waterfalls and creeks
and wild geese in this poem,
please feel free to go back
and insert
anything and everything
that you love
in this ocean
bathtub
meadow
merry mishmash
of words
beneath which love
can lurk
wishes to lurk
probably is lurking

or
larking
(or giggling)

Piggybacking on Evolution

Piggybacking on Evolution


What we do, as Feldenkrais and Anat Baniel practitioners, is elusive to many, and extremely effect, often. One way I’ve come to see as one source of our effectiveness is what I call “piggybacking” on evolution.

Many types of bodywork seem interested in “fixing” this problem or that. Many want to balance something. Many wish to release “blocked” energy.

And we just move people slowly and gently in ways related to this famous word “function.” Functional Integration we call what we do when we aren’t being lazy and called it FI. I’m a big fan of keeping that word Function front and center, and this piggybacking phrase of mine could be little more than another way of saying that.

Then again, maybe it hints to a bit more.

Take one of the simplest and most effective Functional Integration lessons. ( Notice I did not say FI). The client lies on their side, both arms forward, one palm on the other. We work with the shoulder via the vertebrae and the ribs and the pelvis and gently moving the hand forward and the usual this and that.

And what are we doing this “working with” the shoulder.

We’re doing what I call piggybacking on evolution, which in this case is a human body evolved with a shoulder very loosely connected to the other bones of our body so that the “function” of reaching forward can be incredibly fluid and accurate and of almost infinite variation.

Evolution helped us create such a shoulder to help the hands reach forward for food, for love, for craft, for cooking, for wrestling, for opening doors and throwing spears.

We have a big batch of vertebrae, all of which can contribute to this reaching forward function.

As practitioners we don’t have to sweat “range of motion” or even “relaxation.” We “just” have to help that amazing product of evolution, the human shoulder, become even better at becoming a shoulder.

We can roll the ribs. We can engage the neck. We can connect the pelvis to the shoulder. Every little thing we do that “wakes up” that shoulder to be a better “functioning” example of the shoulder that evolution spent millions of years creating for human beings, every little bit adds up, because it’s way IMPORTANT to four million years of humanity that this shoulder be a better and better shoulder.

And that’s what I mean by “piggybacking” on evolution.

It's Sunday night, and you are "all alone" and you don't even feel like

want to escape into a movie
or even a book
and reading a good book
can be such a sweet travel to another world
another mind
another time

and you don't want to escape
but you don't feel so great
and the busy ness of work isn't around
to take your mind off your loneliness

and you have this suspicion that under
neath
the loneliness
is something worthwhile

you have this glimmer of courage that says:
you are enough
you
you
you are enough
without the movie
without the book
without the TV show
without the X there to nag and fight with
and even if it's nagging and fighting at least it's someone Else around

and that doesn't appeal to you

it's kind of quiet

and there's something a little scary about that
quiet
and something wonderful

the wonderful is a bit of a mystery to you
and you have this feeling
this intuition:
letting the the quiet talk to me
is a kind of food

food for my "soul"
whatever my soul is

and if you think about "soul,"
since it's beyond words,
your head kind of hurts
and it's annoying,
like trying to solve a puzzle in
Chinese
and you don't know Chinese

but when you just go with the feeling
that the "soul"
and this quiet ness
fed each other somehow
and you don't have to "know" how

especially since "knowing how"
is usually words
words in the head
doesn't not equal silence

and you are going to just
let this silence
feed something in
you
that you don't need
to name
and don't need to tell anyone about and
that's sweet relief

ah
ah
ah

welcome to self love

feeding yourself the food of solitude
and silence

so inexpensive
and so immensely valuable

rest into it

happy
evening

Chris

the waves of now, for those of us away, temporarily, from the ocean

I don't live in Nature
here in hurly burly wonderful Austin

and is that true,
that I don't live in Nature?

what about these
body brain miracle carrying around
eyes
that lift to the heavens
and swallow great gobs of the wide open
sky,
even if it's city sky
it's mighty high
mighty free
mighty reminds me of the real me

and what about,
the almost every morning
travel 
down the paved road a bit
tree lined calm road
to a small park,
and
there is grass
slopping to the sunrise west
and on that bare feet usually play
at
a waking up tai chi
right thumb sensed all the way to left big toe,
left ring finger filled in hand wrist arms shoulder ribs
spine pelvis  right thigh knee lower leg foot out to
right ring toe
that kind of bare foot
on grass
full of the inside body bone miracle me

and that's kind of an inner nature
meets outer nature

moving slowly, when I take time
and remember
slowly enough to feel the "small nature,"
the world I carry around inside

sensing the inner oceans
liquid in us
the bone mountains
the sky in our lungs
the sunshine in our eyes
or is it brain
or is it soul
and the inner sun
glow
peaceful spreading of awareness

of this
moment
and
then riding that wave
the now wave
always another wave coming along

and that game can be played
the now surfing
anywhere
anytime

and with the legs and arms and eyes and chest and pelvis
and spine and breathing
basking in mindful attention
how can nature not nurture our
almost every moment?

awareness is a glow
a light that ripples out
like the pebble in the water,
but in all directions,
into us
and out of us,
and shines and shines,
who knows,
maybe forever