Jesus died so you could have beginner's mind

 Jesus died so you could have beginners mind
Which sounds like some improper mix

and who knows?

the straight line is that He died to redeem our sins

okay
what are sins?

failure to love others
failure to love ourselves
failure to love God/ nature/ the big picture/ Life

and with beginner's mind can you be
angry at so and so,
without a prior story about how they should have been different?

And with the beginner's mind :
you can be curious about their behavior
or attentive
but basically not at all stuck in any idea they should be
any differnet

it takes an fixed and gathered mind
a sure of itself and its opinion mind
to judge and not love another

and ourselves:
same deal

like I could judge this poem
as not enough leaves
and sunsets
and wild geese,
but the beginner's mind doesn't know
how a poem is supposed to be

and judging ourselves,
only can be
with some pre judgements, so prior pattern of
belief

from the beginner's mind again,
about ourselves,
curious,
open,
wondering
waiting,
receptive

a nice way to live
a nice way to love God/ nature/ Life,
too

and from beginner's mind
we are trapped,
not able not to love

and what's left?

find out,
it's Easter

have a resurrection of your
beginner's mind 

(even about this poem,
perhaps)

don't think, realize

if you think it can't get any better,
it can

if yu think it can't get any worse,
it can

if you think it's never going to change,
it will

if you think it can't get better and worse
at the same f....ing time
it can

oh, well

go ahead and die, just don't forget to go to the funeral

 
dying is under-rated

life on its own
terms
is perfect

and we almost never take it
that
way

which means we are dead
anyway

why not be there for the death
of seeing that
of tasting that
false grabbing to what's not really there
what's not really yours
what's not really true

the death of the story

what's left

go ahead and die,
and see,
be there to see
be there to taste
be there to gnash and smash and bash
until you are all the way
there

then
don't go to heaven
don't transcend

descend
come back for the funeral
stick around

what's next?

ah
what's next now?

and now?

and now?


good

Connection only for the Perfect::::: Is that true?

here is a lie, that we (I)
like to suffer with:

Connection is only for the happy

And sublie: If you (I) are (am) NOT
happy
useful
wise
healthy
financial solvent
fun
a bastion of support
playing the game
etc

then they, the famous THEY, won't
have time for you
be interested in you,
have a place for you in their lives

"They won't have time for you."
Is it true?

And the turn around hints loudly:
Do I have a place
for me
when I"m in the Down.

Ah, that's the good news.
I can notice when I don't
and Change

or I can ask someone (anyone) else
to help me
accept me
in the down

Byron Katie, in her early wake up days,
would wander in a lite up daze, not believing
anything
her name,
any identity
that she was a woman
it was all Just What It Was

And she'd have an urge for a hug,
and she'd go up to the nearest person,
often a stranger,
and ask for a hug.
They always said yes.

the world is waiting to hug you (me)
Go ahead and ask

free fall

free fall
does
n't
seem free

and
it
is

glory be

it's my mother's birthday
and
my son's

so, the world goes on
it appears
and I have a place in the scheme
of things

this is simple
and means a lot
or means nothing

but it's nice having a mother,
grumpy as she is,
she is exactly right to be the one she is

and it's great to have a daughter and a son,
but at least one of them has a birthday that's
not on March 24

and today was cool in Austin
and the young lad who came around,
for the Anat Baniel lessons was hilariously
active and smart and over amped and adorable
and
dance
ah,
dance

and then the OM crowd,
the men and women part
and

the men and men
part

this poem
is pretty dull

oh, well

a day is a day

hope yours was as exhausting
and fulfilling as was mine

love
chris

Simplicity

Sometimes you just
don't
really don't

want to do
something

like write something each
day
in
the blog

on the blog

and then,
you decide

to do it

and then,
if you are lucky
and coach people that the
"Doing" is just the masculine half
of moving forward in life
and the big
game is to
go for the whole tamale,
to
 figure a way to
enjoy/ connect/ play/
goof
with the project as you doing
away

do do
fun fun

okay
and a smile
can be had
at even the paltriest efforts
and the most unimpressive results

we aren't all Mozart
and the Universe gets along
just fine

saying Yes to crazy, down, f...ed up... ie, Life

there are days,
or parts of days
when it is all a mess

and "it" is the wild crazy life
that swirls without sense this way
and that

except there is sense
if we sense it
but it doesn't usually make sense to the mind

which minds this
but we don't

the muddy one
the messy one
the real one, delighted to experience
the crazy wonder of every f...ed up
moment

this is it, babe, one moment
after another

and if they muck and muddy and seem almost to
choke us

so be it....
that's the swamp
that's the storm
that's the hail storm
or the tinkerbell sweet easy rain

doesn't matter
life is full on
in us and
out there,
which when we connect

is more in here
which is out there
which doesn't make sense
except we are one
with what we thought we'd lost

and when we stop grabbing on
it's ours again,

the way it always
was


good

God's idea of a good fall

God made us to suffer
not long
not forever

just long enough

to know the bottom
is always there

your heart
God's heart

not matter how sad
how empty
there is that one
heart

the falling is always held
the bottom is always in a palm
always just under you

and what you thought was free fall
is
flight

God is around

God is around
every corner

around every teardrop

around every eyeball

around every wish and desire
and around
all despair

God is there

for you
are
God

The Gift

Tiredness...
a gift

Loneliness...
a gift

Confusion...
a gift

Heartbreak...
a gift

This poem...
a gift

Enjoy

the masculine and the feminine

The masculine is testosterone:
The house in burning down, kick down the door, run up the stairs, smash anything in the way, save the baby, save the damsel in distress, bloody up arm and knee on elbow, doesn't matter, get the job done, mission accoplished
Save the day.
Then collapse

(Male orgasm a bit like that)

The feminine is oxytocyn
Someone is in some emotional pain, find some friends, the more the better, all talk about five or six things, and underneath it the one thing may or may not be talked about: in connection there is safety, and comfort and a sense that this is what life is for.
Ahh.
The meandering is the journey is the joy, if in connection.

Female orgasm is like that. The real orgasm, not the climax that is sold in the magazine, and that climax is just fine and dandy, but the taking forever and that's just fine, taking forever in pleasure and rising and falling.
And connection.
Connection.
Connection.

The we building as the game goes up and down and all around.

And this is how I see my coaching evolving:

People want to get stuff done.
Old coaching is lists and action steps and accountable and that's all fine.

But the feminine wants quality and connection, and will gladly sacrifice getting things done for the interest and the mess and the connection and the discovery along the way.

How to do both?
Ask for the raise and be connected to yourself and your boss as you do it.

Ask for for love making time, and in connection as you ask, not complaining, not demanding, but listening enough to figure out a way to make the "we" of this new set of behaviors work.

Go about talking to new people about your vision, and not just selling the vision and showing the big picture, but connecting to them, as they are now, and to how the "we" of that connection is happening and not happening as you present the vision.

There is more to this,
and that's a good start for today.

Connection

In nature there are forest soils and prairie soils. In both its full of full fill organic, the former all plants, the later all mulch and a few plants. Only in deserts or man/human planted gardens and farms are there big spaces of bare empty dirt between plants.

somehow, life without the connection, the wall to wall plants or mulch is the ego's life of separation, the non connection that makes so much misery, and robs us from the joyful reality of life

This has something to do with connecting to and raising up and being raised up by and loving/fighting/enjoying/ learning from/etcing with our peers, perhaps?

Who knows. I know that in any conversation I can be aware of and feeding the 3rd or into me/me/ me land, or worried/ scheming about their part>

This gets really ironic and fun when I'm not in connection and bugging someone to get more in connection< usually with me< aka me/me/ me

then the shift, that instant of remembering, that it's not about me, not about us--- that's what it's all about

the yes of up and down, rigged deal

life is yes
and
 and gets better and better

or worse and worse

depending on the story we tell

and also:

how  aligned we are with our desire
in a simple
deep
and profound way

less effort
and some effort
more like attention

and some action
that's a thrill no matter
what "happens"

hmmmmm

/span> short this one

feeling bad is an experience
either physical
or emotional
or mental

it happens sometimes

then what:
experience the experience

or gripe grumble, feel badly about feeling bad

a silly way to torture ourselves


just to eliminate that in
the new year
which is probably a prime number ( just read a book
my daughter gave me for  Christmas: the Professor (math besotted
memory accidented out for the most part)

2013 divided by 4 = 503 + 1

which does it:
all primes are 4n+1, or 4n-1,
and the first category are the sum of two squares

that i can't figure, but hey,
why feel bad about that,
maybe in a day or two it will  come


and what am I feeling now:
sheepish to have put this math in,
and pleased,
I like that stuff in small doses

stuff like converting farhenheit to celsius,
in my head,
that one always cheers me up


and watching thee string of this poem
makes me happy:
if we don't know what's next, life is so interesting

happy new year

the animial/ beast/ woman/ child/ native/ weed inside of us

you do not have to be good

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE GOOD

You do not have to walk a hundred miles
on your knees
across the desert
repenting

You only have to let the soft
warm
animal
in you
love what is loves.

YOU ONLY HAVE TO LET THE
SOFT WARM
ANIMAL
IN YOU
LOVE WHAT IT LOVES

From the first part of Mary Oliver's wild geese poem.
See it all down, down down around the bottom part of the front
page of my mother site,
of the name BecomeMoreAmazing.com

and there's more
to the poem
and to
the liberations

because
we have a wild filthy animal
and that's got to be free
to love and go wild and get dirty

and we have a lazy and silly animal
and that's got to be allowed to nap forever some days,
and go around laughing it its own and others' shadows,
or eyebrows, or tonuges
or words

and pretentions

the soft
the wild
the silly
animal just is what it is

shitting in the forest
peeing in the flower beds
farting here
belching there

fucking in the meadow on the beach on the trailhead
in the thicket, the thinet, the middet
fucking and hugging
and falling down
naked, and rubbing flesh to flesh all
night
just
for the mammalian YES of it

we have a brain
ah,
yes,
that too, the animal that can think
we can think for the pure joy
of it
and best smartest kindest
to think to improve the lot
of any messes we or our fellow forgetters
get into

the soft warm wild funky filthy smart dumb crazy brilliant
animal
in us

the wild child
the restless native without property boundaries,
who owns the earth and the rivers because no one
owns them
the child that can pee wherever it wants to pee
the animal who love making is
dictated by the lunging yes
that is
always
always
always there

and when we wake up to
it

life
is full

and then
the clock strikes twelves or two or six and we think
the slave has to be who we are

it doesn't

the animal can tone it in
a bit
play the civilized game

and it's only a game

and there's a deeper game
without a name
without words

a rolling in the mud, hugging the wrong person,
loving everyone game

gasp,
is today the right day to play it?

is shall we wait,
till the ducks and dead and stuffed and frozen
and all in a line?

a rhetorical question if I ever saw one.


ha!

deep reality: sex, children, the feminine, nature, soil, water, mess, indigenous people

the wild world is
there
inside us,
every night
waiting to wake up
and sometimes it does

in our dreams
in our sex

the best sex in my life
i realized this weekend was
outdoors
under the stars,
or on a hill overlooking an orchard
or on a cliff, overlooking the ocean

sex is nature
nature is sex

and there's as sweet practice,
usually  done indoors
and it reconnects us to the wild,
to the real,
to nature

to orgasm

orgasm was the word I didn't have on the list
of the title

we
forget
how essential this miracle of everything getting
full
full
full
as all else drops away

we forget that it is nature's reminder of samadi
of death before death
of freedom

and here's the practice:
15 minutes
on the floor or bed, but a special nest
of pillows for head and kneess

she:
takes off her pants, and that's all
he:
takes off nothing,
and sits to her right,
his left leg straddling her,
right leg under her right

she:
her legs butterflied

they:
use a timer

he:
strokes the upper left had quandrant of
her clitoris,
or whatever part has the most zing
and she
does nothing but receive

it's not the ocean

it's not the starry night

it's not a 400 year old redwood,
but it's a secret door to that world
a 15 minute door

not to be missed

try it


(and what about the indigenous people:
down to 4% of original numbers
the same as old growth trees,
down to 4% of original land area:

there is a wild world,
almost exstinguished
and it needs to be saved
and we need to save the
wild world in ourselves

the practice above
OMing,
starts to roll back the rolling back

try it and
see/

actually:
try it and realize
and feel
and sense life make sense
below all the words,

which is exactly where redwoods and oceans and flower live

and real love, too
which is the same topic
and more)
good

Life is Yes, even when you die

her former husband
the tug of love underneath yanking
and not connecting

died for her
died with her
teased and refused to be helped
so he would die
in her arms
in her heart

he loved her so much
and forgot
and they both didn't know how
to re tie the tie that didn't bind
and he died of a broken heart

not really
he died of a heart free,
free to give her the freedom to love
every moment because it is
not yet death
and when that comes
it's one more moment to love

and maybe she'll teach that
or maybe she'll just teach that you
are always married to the one you
love
and why waste a minute moment second
forgetting it,
even if you aren't together

the love is there
the child is there
the poems are there

Gilgamesh
that used to be recited by Gurdjieff's father,
from memory, passed down for generations,
before the scrolls were discovered

that poems says:
it can be rough

and the rough is life
and it stirs
no matter how fucking hard
that's life

and the child lives
and the love lives
and this moment lives
and this poem isn't good enough
for how beautiful she was

and that's good enough, too

it's all love,
all love

all love

the importance of fatigue

at times , the theory goes,
you build up muscles
by pushing to the point of fatigue

that this is done stupidly,
tightening neck and jaw and eyes
at the same time,
is another issue

now , today, here
this idea:

push "too far"
now and again
and build up....
something

last night
after a very full and "turned on"
turn on group,
where many of us
were much closer to our real and honest
selves

I went to the ten o'clock showing of
Lincoln,
the movie

it was amazing
and I got out at 12:30
and was reved
and got up at 6:15
and that left me exhausted

and
and
and

here's the deal:
the part of us that loves to be awake
doesn't give a fig
about feeling really really good tip top
rested

it can be aware of being
tired
and slow
and gorggy
and that's just fine


enuff said...
tiredness
is a good excuse for
both types of laziness:

the fear of doing beyond the comfortable laziness
and
the sinking back into the indolent bliss
of
JUST
BEING

not totally,
but somewhat
we can dial which percentage of the laziness game
we
want to play which way


at any time

and now is the time
to wish you a fatgued
or energized
or even happy/ unhappy day

just be there with it

experience your experience

that is the source of
all
miracles


love Chris

Crazy Love

Life comes
and we get what we want
or
don't get what we want

this can be more fun
than we could ever imagine

because just "who"
inside us
wants the thing we can't get
just then
and
who inside us
can be tickled with joy
at what we have

just now

and tickled with curiosity
about how
to move toward
the thing
we want
and
don't have yet

and what if
"we don't know what to do?"

then we wait,
content as plums of the tree in the middle
of summer,
ripen
until we fall off

as a plum we might not
imagine
the tree
that will sprout

oh, well

enjoy being the plum


and every moment
is
that
plum

Wake UP/ Turn ON. Now, Orgasm, Love

Wake Up/ Turn On.  Now, Orgasm, Love

This is a topic worthy
of
you
and
I
and the whole
world

the birds do it
bees do it
even educated fleas do it,
let's do it,
let's fall in love

bees, birds, flees procreate
maybe they fall in love
maybe not
but the fall
under the thrall
of the urge
to unite
to make
more

and that's life:

orgasm is the clue:
your on the way
to making more

more what?
joy
art
fun
health
service

yes, service, there are other people in
the world
frat party orgasm
is a short term dopy
way to live

end of sermon

back to the bees,
the fleas

What is life about?

Someone once asked Back why he had 20 children
and wrote over a thousand pieces of music:

for the Glory of God
and my own amusement

there is a Big Picture,
call it God
call it  Enlightenment
call it Life

it is bigger, more wonderful, more mysterious
than we will ever know

and we are in service to it
we can surrender to
join in,
merge with it

and their is
this particular NOW
this itty bitty ever so feels like this tastes like this
looks like this sounds like this now

it's good
it's our piece
of life

is what to wake up to
this moment

and in that wake up,
turn on to some other bird, bee or flea
or
person
or tree
or flower

fall in love
people

fall off the cliff of knowing
into
the unknown

it's all there
here
waiting
always here
now

and that ramble,
my friends
is female orgasm:
all over the place
happy
and full of juice
and inspiration

good

Waking Up in Bikram

these gals aren't bikraming, but it does look like fun, doesn't it?

this is a game I'm playing
with my life

you don't have to
and you might like it

it's the wake up game
which is to know feel glow sense in the
moment,
you are in that moment,
right then

in Bikram the conditions are kind of interesting:

one:
how about being awake in the locker room
going in,
instead of chatter of how is it going to be,
or the chatter of the past,
or the getting ready chatter

you know, clothes off has sensations,
what we see in the locker room


Okay, then the hot room and the hard poses:

cool

here's the most powerful  tools I play
with to stay awake:

1. sensing arms and legs and fingers and toes and spine
as fully as possible, full time

so when part of "me" is in pain,
there is always a finger or arm or part of my back
that is just fine

and yoga is best for this five line recognition
of what it is to be human:
two legs, two arms and spine

2. so let's say that separately:
always sensing enough of myself
so that plenty of non pain area is in my attention

3. balance is about the foot on the ground
and the "Tantien" or "hara" the center of the
body
a bit below the navel and back in the center

the Bikram thing of fixed gaze is a cheat:
real functioning is to be powerful in the middle
and have neck and eyes free

try it: sense from standing leg to the "hara"
and then have all the other limbs and your spine
radiating out from there

it's fun

4. sense the tongue
soften the tongue and throat

inner chatter is always accompanied by subvocal
mouth and tongue action

keeping these guys quiet can help quiet the mind
and all it's "this is hard," "I'm not doing this right,"
"Look at me, I'm doing this right" "Would she/he shut up" stuff in
our minds

5. the "when is this going to be over"
words
and/ or orientation,
of definition
is not very now-ish

6. this now
reading these silly and/ or useful words
is the one

la la

it's so cool with that now

7. no waiting
this is it

8. is that true?

find out any moment you wish,

good
yeah!

Is there a meaning to life?

there are some trick questions:
and this is one:

what is the meaning of life?

who answers:
our happy heart or the disgruntled one?
the curious person, or the distracted one?

the real you, or the good you?

and yet,
on a good day
a happy day
a being present day:
life has a fine and wonderful meaning

to be lived

be you

with joy
with discovery
with the peaceful silence of just being
with the thrill of puttering in the garden
or building the deck
or knitting the sock
or taking the walk
or having that talk,
where you just thrill
to hear what each other has to say,

and it could even be talk
about
the
meaning of life

and you could even disagree
and
be happily
playfully
teasefully
enjoying your differences

because you are alive
and hear
and now
and here
and now
in the game

and
now:
what game are you in
and
how de light ful is it for you?

how delightful are you,
for
you

right
now?


good

Random cool quotes from Free Will Astrology

it doesn't matter
to me
what "Sign"
these quotes coincide with

if it does for you,
go to
Free Will Astrology


Andy Warhol:
"Don't think about art,
just get it done.
Let everyone else decide whether it's good or
bad,
whether they love it or hate it.
While they are deciding,
making even more art."



Seneca:
"The fates guide the one who will;
the one who won't, they drag along."


Some name displaced Jungian:
"In a man's psyche the unconscious is
experienced as chaotic,
filled with violent and
irrational processes of
generation and destruction.

But to a women's psyche, the unconscious
is a fascinating matrix of
sacred images and rituals
which in their wildly contradictory meanings
express the sacred
unity of all  life."

Mindful, thanks for life, Mary Oliver poem

Mindful
by Mary Oliver
Every day
I see or hear
something
that more or less
kills me
with delight,
that leaves me
like a needle
in the haystack
of light.
It was what I was born for--
to look, to listen,
to lose myself
inside this soft world--
to instruct myself
over and over
in joy,
and acclamation.
Nor am I talking
about the exceptional,
the fearful, the dreadful,
the very extravagant--
but of the ordinary,
the common, the very drab,
the daily presentations.
Oh, good scholar,
I say to myself,
how can you help
but grow wise
with such teachings
as these--
the untrimmable light
of the world,
the ocean's shine,
the prayers that are made
out of grass?

What's good about Bikram

 not in the Bikram repertoire, but they have things that can help toward this

AND, I learned to do this after an hour group lesson in my Anat Baniel training. The lesson was on the wrists. 

What's good about Bikram:

you sweat a lot

the same patter every time: you hear things you didn't the first nine and
you learn the huge difference between different people speaking the same patter

no spiritual pretension
the great divide between Yoga Journal, well dressed and spiritual icing and Yoga International, filled with Pantanjali and spiritually correct and boring, is bypassed:
this is kick ass for health, do it

pseudo suffering that just sensation
add words/ complaints and it's hell
(see OM hub post, cure-ish for inner chatter)

the usual yoga goody:
sensing the five lines of legs arms and spines in various positons to wake up to what every child drawing a human knows:
spine
two legs
two arms

the stomach, cobra, locust series is suburb

lots of rests, not just at the end

you sweet a lot

lots of balance play
which, they do "wrong" i.e. they suggest,
as most yoga, a fixed gaze

sorry: good movement = pelvis commands balance, negotiates it, however you want to say,
and neck and eyes are free and mobile to look in all directions

think from survival or martial arts
see if you really want a thrilling ride, this interview with Moshe Feldenkrais on how he got "into" marital arts
http://semiophysics.com/SemioPhysics_interview_with_Moshe.html

let's end back being nice:
Bikram puts you thru a semi boot camp thing and if you stick with it, and learn to sense your tongue, soften the story, sense the whole body, etc, it becomes a pleasant way to spend an hour and a half, time that you no long want to end, it could be just exactly as long as it want
good

The Glory of What Is, Part 22: Quieting the Inner Chatter

My daughter and niece, many, many years ago, when their inner chatter was probably all magical play. And we, too, can make short stories poems and songs in our heads, if we've got to play in that playground

The inner chatter usually doesn't
matter
but it thinks it does

Oh, well

Here's some games to play with attention
to steal
your life
back from this sneaky little bandit:

1. Sense your tongue

2. Sense your feet

3. Be aware of light / reflected light  coming in your eyes

4. Mess with it


So, here's some of the skinny:
inner chatter,
is inner voice, yammer, talking
and that takes a tongue
and so subtle movements of the tongue accompany inner chatter

sense and relax the tongue and see what happens


Your feet
are the farthest from your head

Gravity is always a deal
a real deal
an equal opportunity, pulls on the rich poor healthy sick everyone
always
(except in space,
and of course,
the rich want to escape to space,
so ... go rich one,
go

I'll be rich and buy farms)


Light is a kind of food
You discover the rest

Mess with it means: if the inner chatter is saying:
"There is too much to do"
play with it with a Russian accent
or a drunken one
or a Nazi tone

it's your inner voices,
change them around

good

The laws of OMing/ Awakened Sex

 They are 180 degrees different from the laws of production



1. State of yearning. Reaching. Anticipation. This is your flour, butter, and sugar to Orgasm. That is the power behind your Orgasm.



2. Break rules. You want to discover what your personal rules are and break them. In Orgasm, it's hot because you say, "ugh. I would never do that." And then you are doing that. All of these deeper desires can be beautiful and turned on.



3. Ambivalence. The hottest is sex is when you are like, "uh. No. I don't have time. Oh it would be so good. Uh no. I can't..." When you have that kind of friction, your desire breaks through and when your desire breaks through, the best orgasm happens.



4. Power. You want to play with power because that's where most of the charge is in the world. You want to increase the power of Orgasm because it breaks through the sound barrier of all the merry-go-round thoughts in your mind.


What is OMing?

A partner practice, Orgasmic Meditation, 15 minutes, non reciprocal, focused on the present and the eruptive discoveries of the Female Orgasm that develops when her clitoris is stroked for this timed amount. 

See OneTaste.us

to have a great/ resurrected relationship

to have a great/
resurrected relationship

wake up

which means you don't "have"
anything
but the game
of finding each other
as
each of you changes
in the moment

and sinks and soars
deeper
and deeper
into the person
that they really are

the mystery
find able only in the present
usually without words,
but the words guessing toward
what they are feeling and becoming
are part of the game

how close can you say/ guess
to today's turn on, confusion
happiness
wonder

let's play listening and
learning
and what can I say
I'm afraid to hear

how deeper from heart
belly and
genitals
and
toes
and fingers
can I hear
ALL of what you are saying

and more
all of what you are being
as each moment's being waves,
like the ocean,
into the next

surfing the moments together
with touch talk joke laugh listen silence
question joke pun empty waiting
all
and
more

tools and toys for the
game

let's play

remember to remember

to remember
to remember

remembering ourselves

pulling all the members back
into this basket:

a something
with arms and legs and spine
and
eyes
and
ears

and a heart, genitals love
awareness

breath

remembering

those people trees building cars

even the damn/ wonderful smart/ not so smart phones

we're here
now

it's alive
the monster
is not a monster

it's a gift

the gratitude

not remembered
but the byproduct

of waking up

in remembrance

to life,
life
life
life


good

Bipolar without drugs

The brain slayeth,
heal the brain, heal everything

So,
this is from Dan Siegal's book,
Mindsight

It's one of the ones to the right.


Six parts:


1.Good rest/ sleep
This can, and should, include, mini breaks, even two minutes to sit in the sun, or lie of the floor/ lawn, throughout the day.

2. Good food, organic, range fed, wild fish, omega 3's for the brain
You are what you eat, ate. Pesticide and junk in, and the brain will get worse.

3.Good relationship : pleased, at ease, no resentments
 ( my work with the Byron Katie method can get all resentments cleared;
     being present and truthful in communication consolidates it)
thework.com

4. Novelty
 ( the Anat Baniel work takes care of that) AnatBanielMethod.com
And my mindfulness focus: find five ways to do everything,
everything,
even read this

5. Mindfulness
( Siegal uses meditation, I use all day mindfulness in the body,
or body
and breath
and light:
three layers and full time reality
 plus movement with and for awareness)

6. Exercise:
in fresh air; not rote; the combination of Feldenkrais and movement can make boring things like weight lifting, or semi cool things like yoga into brain food as well
 Feldenkrais.com

and taking a walk, dancing, making love, this are as good as yoga, and should/ could be part of all our lives


For an earlier, slightly different version of this, see my September 24

6 Step deep Protocol for the brain on bipolar and depression 

A great relationship

A great relationship has at least these four elements:

- Great and consistent communication

- Great and consistent sex

- Unconditional love

- A big job



Let's have some fun and go one by one:

Great and consistent communication means:
- Every day
- You can say anything
- You do say everything, no secrets
- You speak in the present
- You speak truth ("I am angry" is truth. "You make me angry" is a lie)
- You go to vulnerable, and admit: "I'm afraid to say this.."
- And then you say it
- You have a method, or a practice of long periods where one talks and the
other does not interrupt
- You are learning to have no words in your head, and no rehearsal of
responses as the other talks
- You listen in the PRESENT


Great and consistent sex means:
- Every day ( relax, it can be a 15 minute Slow Sex meditation)
See OneTaste.us, the demo video
- Not necessarily climax oriented
- Playful
- Variable
- If a two way practice, eyes open
- Communicating desire, sensation
- Reversible: not a runaway train, until it is
- Full of any and all communication
- Total commitment to sensation in the PRESENT

Unconditional love means:
- All resentments are gone
- 100% gone
- You can think of the "worst" the other ever did
and feel love in your heart
and feel a smile coming to your face
- You "look forward" to their doing whatever it is
that the "it" in you, the conditioned and it's all about me-me-me
self in you (ego) is most annoyed by
- You look forward to new discoveries of their imperfection,
because that's your imperfection

- If it's ten minutes old, it's history. Living life awake and in the PRESENT.
- Humor about "I'm imperfect, you're imperfect and that's perfect" 
- Gratitude around that


A big job can mean:
- Raising a sane, present, playful, happy, creative amazing child or children
- Supporting the best in each other
- Building a house, farm, community together
- Writing a book together, starting a company
- Sharing your deepest dreams and helping each other toward them
Such as
- Helping each other shift to a new job, fitness program, creative endeavor, etc
- Committing to mutual enlightenment
- Committing to "saving the Earth" without getting grumpy along the way
- Creating an organic, eco and truth community together
- Making and giving away millions to the places you want change to happen
- Ongoing every day every moment happiness for yourself and the other 
- Committing to humorously helping each other live in the PRESENT 

- Keeping up the daily sex, daily communication and daily resentment release
- Spreading your happiness and sanity to the world

late

the time of day 
when the sleep comes calling
 that's now

 and the secret
 well one of the secrets

 to stay awake
 even inside of
falling
asleep

 possible?
 yes.

let's try,
you and I tonight
 to meet in the dream
 land
where
we
know
 we
 are
 dreaming

 (good)

Hollow ween

 

there is an emptiness
at the center of life
that is very full

and words can't eat that
cake
no
trick nor treat
can bring the words to life,

they point tho,
they point:

look
listen
wait
no hurry

you are already there

good

The joy of being wrong: This time about Bikram yoga

I got into an interesting
semi embroglio
with a friend about Bikram yoga
a few weeks back

and spouted the
inner message/ judgment/ cutoff
I had in my head:

that it was too clunky
and rough
and disrespectful of the beauty of
real people
in real movement

Then I realized,
that the semi embrog
was about my wanting to divert from something
more important

AND
that I could be wrong

so
I decided to take up one of these lovely
"Try it out for a month for $49
packages"
expecting it to be the sloppy mess
I had it in my head


well, it was hot
I had that right

and they push you hard,
I had that right

but the structure
was far more amazing than I'd
remembered

and there was stuff I couldn't do
that I used to be able
to,
and that showed me
.... hmmm, there's some learning
to be had

and there were a lot more rests
than I'd remembered,
and rests are super important

and the emphasis on the spine
and taking poses to intermediate levels
and the abundance of balance poses

it was good

it almost killed me the first two
times
but that, too,
isn't so bad

because it was set up so it would
be hard to hurt yourself,
except coming out of Camel too fast,
which they don't warn or guide you through

it's all much safer than the average yoga class,
strangely enough

so,
joy
upon
joy

I was wrong

I'm not "in love"
with Bikram
but like it as a possible
was to spend a week a month,
say


of course, of course,
from a Feldenkrais and Anat Baniel perspective,
a lot more learning could take place,
but they aren't a learning system

they are a training system,
most specifically training the spine
to be more flexible

not bad
not bad at all

Movement lesson on the side: spine via arm, spine via knee

Please lie on your side, very comfortably on a firm bed, or the floor,
or a mellow sections of sand or grass

Pick the preferred, "automatic" side

Rest your head on a pillow, or folded clothes, anything to keep you neck
in a straight line with your spine

Relax into gravity

Now try four sets of movements:

1. Moving the top arm forward (the direction the chest and nose
point
is called forward) and back
As if reaching for something

2. Move the top knee forward, over the "edge"of the bottom
knee,
keeping the ankles together
And then bring the top knee back

3. Move both arm and knee forward and back together

4. Move arm and knee in opposition:
i.e. knee forward, while arm move back
arm forward while knee moves back


In each movement:

Rest between each single execution.

Do each movement slowly
with attention
with as little effort as possible
with as much attention as possible
with as much pleasure as possible

And add in learning:
Notice in all of the movements,
what happens in your spine,
and the other parts of you

In each movement:
try for a slightly different awareness every single time

Go very slowly

"Initiate" the movements from different places:
the spine, the shoulder, the ribs, the hand, for the top movement

the spine, the hip, the knee, even the ribs for the bottom movement

Try subtle variations and feel, as sensation, the difference.

Do some breathing in, some breathing out, some breath held.

Some with back arched, some with back rounded, some with back neutral.

Less, less, less is more.

Take a lot of time.

Rest for 2 or so minutes between each kind of movement,
ie. between 1. and 2.  and 2 and 3
and so on

Feel especially which vertebrae are moving
and how much
and in what sequence

Try for pleasure
and
awareness
and
learning

all along.

After playing in this learning and awakening way
with all four movements,
either rest in this position,
or on your back,
and feel the differences side to side

Take a nap even

Later, sit up
and feel the differences side to side

Then stand up,
and walk,
and feel the differences side to side


Enjoy

Good.

I'm so wonderful, you're so wonderful, life is good. then we die.

I really like my tag line:
"Life is Yes, and Can get Better and Better and Better"

It's already perfection
you and me
in all our
fucked up ness

in all our imperfection

yes,
yes
in all my imperfection,
if I just ("JUST"!) come
back to the present
I'm sitting, standing, lying, moving
in the middle of
the most amazing miracle of all:
I'm alive,

and alive
and aware
of being alive

that's enough,

if I'm in a bad mood,
there's always a story behind it

the story is never in the present

it's "baggage" of words
trotting along,
hijacking my life

my thoughts aren't me

your thoughts aren't you

the "you're all fucked up" story
we trot out,
drag out,
fling out,
puke out

about ourselves and others is
a
LIE

good old Byron Katie and her first question:
"IS IT TRUE?"

just asking ourselves that
can calm
and bring us back to the glory of being
alive
in the world
without a story

so
today's the Monday of this Monday
of your life

actually, it's Tuesday
and I've already gotten hell
from someone for getting that wrong

oh, well.
life is good

even if I am imperfect and forget that
today is a Monday called Tuesday
and someone gets angry at me about that

and how many "mistakes" can you make
on this Monday/ Tuesday

and how much now can you love
and lust
and turn on
to
as you do?

happy whatever the hell day
it is
Chris

The Blind Deficit Disorder World, Seeing in a Blind World

From the Wayseers,
by Garret John LoPorto

"A Vital Breakthrough for Free-Spirits, Visionaries, Misfits, Rebels and Pioneers"


Seeing in a Blind World

Imagine a world where just about everyone is born blind and you are one of the only ones who can see. Because blindness is pervasive, human culture in this imaginary world has developed a blindness for blindness. People would not even realize they were missing a key sense.

As a child growing up with working vision in this world you would have some peculiar experiences. When you opened your eyes, you would notice everyone else’s were closed. When you described your ability to “see” you would be placated, ignored and told you had an overactive imagination. Eventually, at quite a young age, you would probably become uncomfortable with keeping your eyes open – because your vision would prompt you to say and do things that disturbed and upset your parents and teachers and peers – so you would learn to close your eyes like everyone else just to feel more in harmony with your community.

Your well-meaning, but blind parents and teachers, would insist on teaching you critical life skills for the blind. The academic disciplines of groping, stick tapping and pace counting would be beaten into you “for your own good”. You would try to do things like open your eyes and walk to where you wanted to go, and at first a parent or teacher might have thought you were a very advanced pace counter; but when they discovered that you didn’t know how many paces you’d traveled, you would be reprimanded for being careless, impulsive and foolish. “Just walking freely” without the use of proper blind navigation strategies such as stick tapping or pace counting would be seen as reckless, irresponsible and dangerous to yourself and others.

You found all of these blind navigation strategies very hard to focus on with your eyes open, because they were so unnecessary with working vision. Your teachers may have complained to your parents that there was something very wrong with you; because you were such a sloppy stick tapper and a forgetful, inattentive counter. You simply wouldn’t focus on your blind navigation studies. Maybe they thought you had ADHD or BNDD (Blind Navigation Deficit Disorder).

At this point your approach to living as a seer in a blind world may have taken one of a couple different directions. The first would have been to acquiesce and become sympathetically blind in some way. You would find that you could tolerate and focus on your blind navigation studies much better with your eyes closed. Plus, you would fit in better and wouldn’t seem so strange to others. There would be no glorious vision to distract you from the pace counting and the stick tapping, which seemed so silly and useless before. Now, it becomes surprisingly essential with your eyes closed. If you had trouble keeping your eyes closed, a family doctor might prescribe you a Blind Navigation Deficit Disorder medication that would chemically blind you for hours at a time, making the discipline to keep your eyes closed and stay focused much easier.

The second course your life could take would be that of a misfit and a rebel. You would say “to hell” with this blind navigation B.S. – you could get where you wanted to go without learning all these “stupid” academics. Maybe instead of dropping out, you still went to class, but you would coast. You would pretend to do the blind navigation, but whenever you got lost you would just open your eyes. You’d lose points for not doing your homework and not “showing your work,” but you could do surprisingly well on tests when you weren’t accused of cheating.

Then as you came of age you might begin to overcome your shame of seeing. You might start to embrace it instead of hiding it. You might muster the inner liberty to throw down your tapping stick and do horrifyingly risky things like running through a forest. You might use your vision to make “impossible” discoveries as far as blind people are concerned. You might solve cases in unexpected ways because you can see things others can’t. You might invent things, change ways of doing things, lead.

You would be heralded as a modern day miracle worker, for

doing what came naturally to you, just because you could see.

“The superior man is the providence of the inferior. He is eyes for the blind, strength for the weak, and a shield for the defenseless. He stands erect by bending above the fallen. He rises by lifting others.”

~ Robert Green Ingersoll

http://xa.yimg.com/kq/groups/3186387/350371029/name/The-Wayseers-1st-chapter-v0-3-7-8.pdf

Grounded....the ground is desire: we want to move because...

This is a rerun
on the exploration of "being grounded."

GROUNDED:

It's still as simple as noticing
gravity,
our pull down
into the earth.

And as humans, that is important,
not for the wonderful bliss of knowing we are on planet Earth

but because we want to be non-trees on planet Earth.

We want to MOVE

we want to move to eat,
the play,
to hunt,
to work,
to hug,
to mate

movement is simplicity itself:
we go over there to get something we want
we reach out and bring something to ourselves we want

we want to enjoy a dance together,
we move with
we want to enjoy sex 
we move with
we want to build a house
we pick up, saw, carry, hammer, nail,
we move things around and
create something we want
or get paid to create and we want the money

and any good carpenter wants the
satisfaction of making something that wasn't there before

a painter paints
a poet writes

stuff happens,
moving thoughts
moving emotions
and someone in there,
moving the body

you name it,
almost any it and it's about movement

AND WHAT'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH GRAVITY/
WITH BEING GROUNDED AS CONNECTION TO AND USE OF SELF IN GRAVITY?

EVERYTHING:

a baby who can crawl is not the same being
as one who can't crawl

this is where a lot of the "babies are Buddha" people
get a little nutso:

The goal of babies is not hanging out in bliss:
it's eating when they want to eat,
and being held (that's bliss, surely)
and
crawling across the room to
get the toy
to explore
to get in trouble
to eat the dogfood
to drive their parents crazy

kids want to move in the world

and when they can crawl they are
GROUNDED

they know,
hands push down to hold the front part
up
knees push down to hold the hips up

and this is their transformation:
they know how to PUSH DOWN INTO THE GROUND
in just the right sequence of hand and knee and hip and back
and shoulder and all that good stuff
and that moves them forward

they like that

the are CONNECTED inside,
back to arm to hand to floor
inside back to pelvis to thigh to knee
to floor

it's not that simple
it's really complex
and it's simple to say:
they are grounded because they know feel and use the ground

MOVEMENT WITH ATTENTION
this is Anat Baniel's first essential in Move into Life
and her children with special needs book:
Kids Beyond Limits

and it's central obviously to the Feldenkrais® work:

Awareness comes thru Movement
because
we need love enjoy have to move

and until we are in space
we have to move in and in spite of
and in connection with
and in coordination with gravity

this is good
life is good

happy grounded day
happy moving day

let yourself be moved by the glory of
life

if you wish


good

Grounded

 Being grounded, means pushing into belly and sternum and rooting in pelvis, and the we can push the head up.

This is learned. It's not a pre program. A huge part of the brain loves/ needs/ organizes around this.

Grounding is for real, until you can into outer space, and the phrase "spaced out," hints at more than might meet the feet.

Recently in a class I was taking, a comment about being grounded came up, and the suggestion was given  that this could be accomplished by sensing the genitals. I thought this nonsense, and want to go about showing how simple "grounded" is.

My prior intro, which delays the meat of the posting, is now at the end.
like a modern novel, or something.


Sensing one's genitals roots us in the sexual yum yum hum hum
of existence, but it doesn't ground us.

The human brain comes out of the birth canal at one fifth its
final size.
 
A huge amount of what the baby and her brain learn and
expand the first two years is movement,
and it's always movement in gravity,
which means learning to connect to gravity
and how pushing down with the belly allows the head to
lift to vertical that's crucial,
and that's part of learning to be "grounded."
To roll over, by pushing down here, and moving there, again, more connection to "ground"

And then crawling: standing on four limbs in crawling is a super duper
understanding of gravity and the ground in two hands, two wrist,
two shoulders, two hips, two knees. Our hands push into the ground, that holds the head and chest up. Our knees push into the ground, and that hold the butt up. As we crawl, we push backward into the ground to go forward.

no understanding of the ground: no crawling.

In fact, to those wanting to "get more grounded," crawling has a lot
to recommend itself.

As does walking barefoot on the good old Earth.

Grounding can be seen thru the lens of the four parts of One Taste,
mainly these three:

Simplicity:
the ground is the ground. Unless you are in space,
you are attracted to the Earth. It's pulling. You're pushing.
Where? Notice.

which is
Attention:
If sitting now, are hands and feet pressing down into something,
which is pushing back up?
Which side of your pelvis is most pressing down?
Are you leaning back? Then your back is being used as a foot,
which is a shitty use of the back, except when lying down.

The two sitz/ sit bones are good feet substitutes.
Leaning back, in primitive / survival conditions is an invitation: kill me.

Connection:
If standing, which part of the foot is connected to Earth, or to your shoe or sock
and how does that connection snake/ connect up through your skeleton to your head,
with the eyes and ears and the top?

Sitting, same: pelvic bones to butt flesh to clothes to chair to chair legs to floor, to ......
And up, pelvic to sacrum to spine to ribs, the shoulder blades and head

And so on

And the last guy:

Desire:
Well, desire to sit up straight can be a conditioned/ finishing school kind of thing,
and it can make you better on horses, if you need to attract an upper class mate,
or stand taller if you want to look better as a breeding partner,
and
there is this desire:

to not be dead

so it's like this:
conditioned sitting up straight: make others happy/ get approval

sit up to be able to move quickly: an inner happiness, freedom, vitality and survival thing

it's pretty deep,
but without grounding,
in the way of the world of most of humanity over most
of its existence: we get taken down

No grounding,
we get killed,
And there it goes:
no big limbic party fun

ah....
there's where the desire can have a lot of fun,

not just in survival,
but moving toward the object of our desire

  let's walk across the room to the one who turns you on....
every step is pressing back into the ground
to push through all your skeleton to
move your forward

simple shit
key to being alive

and attention can get finer and finer:
stand:
put weight on insides, outside of feet.
one inside, one outside.
mainly one foot.
mainly one foot and the big toe
mainly one foot and the ring toe

two feet and the toes of one foot and the heels of the other

sound familiar, this increasing of mindfulness by
attending to the details

sure


good

happy week
happy fall as fall in Austin

happy falling into grace
and now
and ground
and desire

where ever you are


Chris 

the original start:
I have a friend, a male friend,
with whom friendship is getting deeper and deeper.

We regularly say I love you.
It's a pants on kind of love, and deep, deep,
friendship to the core, to the mud, to the blood,
and
one
reason it's so strong is that I can occasionally tell him:
"I love you and you don't know what you're talking about."

(This you may recognize from Moonrise Kingdom,
which I've seen 3 times, which you can guess how much
I like. And this is perhaps my favorite line,
"I love you and you don't know what you are talking about.")

The recent not knowing was a cute and radically upbeat
idea of being grounded,
which was to sense one's genitals.

No.

Sensing one's genitals roots us in the sexual yum yum hum hum
of existence, but it doesn't ground us.

The human brain comes out of the birth canal at one fifth its
final size.